#maybe it's about my mental health

[gongyussy]

"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"

hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.

As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.

I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us

[strawberrieskies]

ngl like chappell roan is gonna disappear one day and everyones going to ":(((( she was so girlypop :(( she was an icon of her time :(( we loved her so so much :( a star gone to early :( " and like its so gonna be everyones fucking fault

[cursoulla]

twiddling my thumbs, i realized in ways i rlly do prefer 2010 Nier over the remake. but ofc, i love them both very much. just … smth about the 2010’s. there’s so much charm. i also think nier (adult to be exact) and kainé just look quite nice, even if the faces are a little goofy. and the piss filter + maximum grittiness is peak.

[kalpalatas]

do you ever just-

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

"Can't Die with Regrets."

SONIC 3 SPOILERS!!!

Based on this post

AO3 version

“If neither of you have the guts to help me, then I’ll do it alone.”

Words that Sonic was regretting. Severely.

It had been nearly an hour since he’d last seen his brothers. In a fit of rage, and grief, and too many negative feelings for him to process, he’d all but stolen the Master Emerald and hunted down Shadow, fully intending to kill him.

Looking back at himself, the way he’d just lost control, he felt ashamed, but he could still remember why he’d done it in the first place. He still could feel the paralyzing fear that had gripped him when he’d found Tom unconscious, completely unresponsive. Fear that had quickly turned into an early kind of grief, reminding him all too much of a night long ago, when he’d found himself alone in an unfamiliar forest at night, crying over the loss of Longclaw.

His first parent.

Things had been fuzzy. He was scared. He was stressed. He was angry.

He had not waited ten painful years for his family, only to have it stripped away from him again. He didn’t know what he would do without them. Without his dad.

“What kind of hero abandons his friends to pursue revenge? Abandons his family?” Shadow’s chilling words still echoed in his mind. He hadn’t had an answer. All he’d been able to feel was rage, and grief, and a spiraling sense of being completely out of control.

And while the fury had subsided as he remembered Tom’s words to him recently, about not letting his pain from losing Longclaw change who he was, the grief had stayed. The fear had stayed. Even as he let go of Shadow, as they sat and talked about their experiences with loss, the pain continued to burn in his chest.

Sonic pushed it to the back of his mind as they both charged up on the Chaos Emeralds and went to stop the giant cannon about to destroy a chunk of Earth. Talking with Shadow had helped him a little, as he reminded them both about how they could deal with their grief and their pain. Finally befriending this edgy other hedgehog had done him well. Fighting alongside him was even its own brand of fun.

But it was hard to not think about his family.

How the last he’d seen his parents, his father was in some kind of coma and being taken into an ambulance. His mother was looking at him and his brothers… strangely, as she sat with her husband. With a blank expression, one that chilled him and stirred a different fear entirely in his stomach.

Like she wasn’t quite sure of them anymore.

And his brothers?

He had not parted with them on friendly terms. He’d been in the thick of his grief-induced anger still. He’d snapped at Tails for attempting to comfort him, and had nearly fought with Knuckles over his demands for the Master Emerald. Knuckles had refused to fight him, which in hindsight made him feel even worse.

He wanted to apologize to them. But he didn’t know where they were.

In the distance, the huge cannon thing was crackling with chaos energy, clearly about to fire. Shadow dealt with the last of the bots that they’d been fighting, then they were both making a beeline for the cannon.

It probably wouldn’t destroy the entire earth— it was a precision weapon— but it would still kill many innocent lives. At the moment, it was aimed directly for London.

As far as Sonic knew, his entire family was down there.

So the only plan he could come up with in the panic of the moment was to block the hit directly, using the combined chaos powers of both himself and Shadow.

It was a big risk for sure, but there was no way he was letting that blast hit the earth.

“Now this might hurt a little!” he yelled to Shadow, as they flew directly up in the line of fire.

The cannon unleashed its blast.

It hurt more than a little, as they both raised their arms to create an invisible shield of sorts, blocking the blast, protecting those far below.

“This was your plan?” Shadow demanded beside him, his voice strained as he squinted against the blinding light.

Sonic didn’t answer, grunting as he tried to conserve his quickly-draining energy. Desperate for any kind of hope, he hollered, “Would someone mind shutting down the giant death ray?!”

He figured it was just the Robotniks up there, and they were the ones who’d planned this whole thing, but somehow his plea was answered. Slowly but surely, the continuous blast started to tilt, gradually away from the earth.

However, it was quickly getting harder and harder to keep blocking it. The ray was hot and excruciating to the touch, only less so because he was in golden god mode, but even that energy was starting to… fade.

Sonic gritted his teeth, nearly whimpering as he struggled to keep on blocking it. Hundreds of people are at risk down there! he snapped at himself silently. Including your family. Keep at it!

The ray continued to turn, slowly.

The edges of his vision started going dark.

He shook his head slightly, glaring up at the ray. The ray glared back at him.

You HAVE to do it! You have to get back to them! You have to see if Dad will be okay. You have to check on Mom. You have to apologize to Knuckles and Tails. YOU HAVE TO!

SO KEEP AT IT!

“Can’t… hold… much… longer!” he gasped out, as if whoever was turning the ray could hear him. Shadow looked over at him for a split second, then immediately turned back forward, pushing even harder against the blast.

Sonic couldn’t risk looking down to see how far the ray had turned from the earth. All he could do was keep looking up, keep hoping against hope that they were going to save everyone— and make it out alive. Both of which he couldn’t afford not to do.

But it wasn’t looking likely.

He didn’t have any more energy he could just summon out of nowhere. And he was very quickly running out of time.

And even as he struggled against the ray, his heart began to sink.

He had too many regrets. Too many things he still needed to say. Too many things he still didn’t know.

Stupid cannon should’ve waited a bit longer, at least so he could’ve gotten a chance to do all that.

But, just like throughout this whole ordeal, he was absolutely powerless with such a thing.

It was too late.

The darkness at the edges of his vision spread, as his arms and body started going numb. And with a final yelp, he blacked out.

The last thing he registered was a hand on his shoulder, forcefully shoving him to the right. Then everything went blank.

---

Sonic had truly thought he was going to die.

If he’d fainted while still in the direct path of the death ray, he would’ve gotten incinerated.

But that hand that’d pushed him… had it gotten him out of the way? Shadow had saved him?

His consciousness slowly edged its way back in, stirred by the sound of coughing. As his senses recovered, he realized he was lying down, sprawled half on an earthy floor, halfway on top of someone else…

Vision and hearing foggy, he squeezed his eyes shut tighter for a moment before wearily blinking them open. “Sonic, look,” a young, familiar voice said quietly.

Slowly, shakily, Sonic pushed himself to his feet, still trying to register what was happening, where he was, what was going on. But as he looked up, the memories returned, and another wave of grief hit him hard.

There was a huge, nebular mass in the sky above them, clearly the result of some kind of massive explosion. Tails had gone on excited rants to him in past months about astronomy, and stars, and what happened when they exploded. How they left a beautiful nebula blanketing the space around them even after they were gone.

“Shadow and Robotnik,” Tails said quietly beside him, staring with a hollow look up at the remains in the sky. “They sacrificed themselves… to save everyone.”

…Oh.

Shadow was gone.

Sonic looked at the distant fire, swallowing. “You always have a choice,” he murmured, remembering how he’d told that to Shadow right before they’d gone in to stop the death ray.

“The light shines, even though the star is gone,” was what Shadow had said, as they’d sat and reminisced on the moon’s surface.

They’d saved Earth, and everyone on it, but Shadow had given everything to make the right choice in the end. He’d become his own fallen star, like Maria, and he would shine on even now that he was gone.

Sonic’s chest ached. For all the drama and violence and pain of the last few days, he would never forget Shadow. The words they had shared stuck with him. Shadow had not deserved to die. He’d become a hero when it had mattered the most.

And so had Robotnik, apparently.

Sonic swallowed again, then turned to face his brothers, a sudden dread pooling in his heart. In what he’d thought were his final moments up there, he’d been desperate to live so he could apologize, and he’d pictured himself dramatically rushing back, shouting out the “I’M SO SORRY”s, hugging everyone left and right, rushing to do everything he thought he couldn’t. But now that he was faced with the real opportunity, and the reality of what had happened, he… was scared.

Scared that he’d gone too far. That they wouldn’t trust him again after he’d betrayed their oath.

Especially as he realized that Knuckles and Tails must’ve saved him after he fell. Even after what he’d said to them. It was the only explanation for how he’d woken up piled with them both in the middle of a corn field, relatively unharmed for having apparently fallen all the way from space.

“Guys, I’m really sorry for running off like that,” he said softly, avoiding the two pairs of eyes locked on him. His heart pounded uncomfortably in his chest. “I shouldn’t have left you behind.”

He dared to meet Knuckles’s eyes. The echidna stared back at him, his eyes hard.

“The truth is,” he went on, shifting his gaze again, “you’re the best teammates a hedgehog could ever ask for.” He glanced at Tails, the words spilling out now, and he was struck with a sudden gratefulness that he was here, getting to say all this, when he’d truly thought he’d missed the chance. “And the best friends,” he quickly added. “…Can you ever forgive me?”

Sonic held his breath. Silence reigned. His heart skipped a few beats.

Knuckles continued to stare.

Then the echidna slowly raised a fist towards him. “Team Sonic?” he asked quietly.

Sonic stared at his brother’s extended fist for a moment, almost weak as relief rushed through him. In a rush of emotion, he smiled like a sap and lurched forwards to hug Knuckles close, grasping to pull in Tails as well. “How about, just ‘team’,” he replied softly, resting his head against the echidna’s chest and wrapping his arms around both him and Tails.

His teammates. His friends. His best friends.

His brothers.

----------------------

there will be a second chapter soon btw

[jinxed-sinner]

Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Lucifer’s still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.

I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.

[strandedtoodeep]

no intelligent thoughts only thinking about what will happened if Logan and Wade were stuck in the backrooms?

Idk why but this obsesses me???? Both because it would be so fucking funny AND absolutely terrifying at the same time but also can you imagine Logan being so lost and confused, Wade who knows everything about the backroom because ofc he does (why, how, nobody knows) and leading the way on top of explaining EVERY BIT of the lore to Logan?

sorry i needed to talk about this and expel it from my system i swear

[inkly-heart]

please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

🌱

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

whenever dan and phil say words i remember misha collins coming out as straight and think, maybe if we’re really good, that could be dnp too 🙏

[fan-dweeb]

Shigaraki: Hey people who know astrology, which planet do I blame for everything going to shit

Dabi: Earth

[rockingtheorange]

Why is Nick such an asshole to Taylor and the film? He already toldAmazon he will nto be doing the sequel.

I don't like answering this type of questions so I'll make it as complete as I can, so people can get a life outside their own expectations. (I'm not defending Nick, I'm stating facts.)

First of all, let's not spread false rumors. Nick has not dropped the project. (I'm baffled on how this rumor could start in the first place)

Nick signed a contract for the sequel, he has responsibilities towards it, and consequences if he doesn't follow it. Regardless, it's not us who decide the terms. If he ever decides to leave the project, he'll make a choice and ponder the consequences.

"He could do more". Well, he also could do less. He's an actor and does his job however he feels like. (Do y'all care about every single aspect of your own jobs or studies? Bet you have priorities, right?)

In pop culture, there's this conception of the artist "owes his fans". While I'm inclined to love fanservice of all kind because it makes us, fans, feel appreciated, no one forces us to be a fan, meanwhile the artists are forced to do fanservice as long as they want or their contracts stipulates that.

Now let me go onto the specific part of Nicholas' life and personality.

Let's remind ourselves that we can be the biggest fans and yet know nothing about our favorite celebrities. They show us what they want us to know, it's our choice to decide what we want to follow, hear or understand.

As far as we know Nick, he's always been a quiet reserved person, who suffers from anxiety, doesn't like big social events and hardly uses social media (especially in the recent years)

He's somewhat a fearful person who decides to step outside his comfort zone. We can know that from his song Comfort.

Nick has talked about how one of his "great fears is being misunderstood." You can read about it in the article RWRB related from BritishGQ in which he compares his fear with Henry's experience.

Nick has been showing multiple times in multiple occasions how he loved Henry and loved playing him. He wouldn't have said "yes" to a sequel if he didn't want to. (I'd also say it's a big deal since Nick has always only played in project that didn't get a sequel, and he consciously decided to agree to it.)

In Nick's career, we can see how diverse and interesting his characters must be. He's drawn to peculiar characters and when he finds one, he puts everything he has to offer into it. This leads him to focus on other characters that aren't the same static one from a year or two ago. (He moves on to the next project, and I don't see anything bad about it.)

Working a lot means schedule conflicts and Nick has always had this problem. If he doesn't work on something new, he rests while doing his little hobbies. (Does he need to attend every social event if he doesn't want to? Do y'all ever rest? And if you don't, can other rest instead?)

I added my personal opinion in parenthesis so it doesn't get confused with the facts. Nick is a human with personal interests, ranked scale of values and personal life.

If you don't want to be a fan, don't be. If you want to be a hater, talk it to the wall instead of harming or annoy others. If you have expectations over other people, learn to manage what you can't control. If you think you're in control of someone else, you're not.

Now, excuse me I'll go back to watch RWRB with Henry played by Nicholas Galitzine, the actor who took his fragile character and held him in his hand, and protected him.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[starmonsterrr]

[ * hey hello quick announcement I vibe with proshippers now (I have sorta nuanced views but I'm closer to being proship and I'm comfy hanging out with them so. If you don't vibe with that there's the three dots in the top right corner of this post, click that and it should give you the option to block me) ]

Edit 2: [ * HEY WHY DO I HAVE MORE FOLLOWERS NOW. THAT AIN'T RIGHT. THAT DOESN'T ADD UP. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT. I THOUGHT MORE PEOPLE WOULD UNFOLLOW AND MAYBE BLOCK. ]

[townofcrosshollow]

Sorry I'm talking about Minecraft shit again but like...

The thing that makes the Iskall situation so sad to me, even moreso after this new info, is that it literally did not need to be this big of a deal. The allegations were not life or even career ending stuff. Don't get me wrong, the dude's a gross sex creep, but he didn't commit any crimes and people have been forgiven for worse. He also clearly knew about the allegations well in advance of any of the other Hermits finding out.

It would have been very easy for him to get out of this situation. There are so many different ways he could have gotten out of this situation.

Reach out to the people affected privately, apologize, and agree to come to a conclusion about the situation privately! They don't have to even forgive him to agree to just not talk publicly about it.

Discuss the allegations well ahead of time with the other Hermits and come to a conclusion about how to proceed! They would have been more than capable of handling it as a group. Other Hermits could have reached out to moderate with the people making the allegations, and they could have helped him make an apology video to explain the situation and do damage control. Hell, it sounds like they were already gearing up to do this when he resigned.

Quietly resign and keep working on Vault Hunters! He wasn't even active on Hermitcraft when this happened. Apologize and work it out with the people he hurt, explain the situation to the VH community, and just keep doing his thing with a lower profile.

But all of those solutions would require a fucking iota of shame, a tiny little inkling in his brain that maybe the stuff he did was bad, and the personal moral character to say "my bad, I fucked up." And this whole video whining about being cancelled just shows that he absolutely does not have that moral character in the slightest. He does not have the self awareness or emotional maturity to say "Hey, I did something shitty that hurt people's feelings" and take responsibility for that fact. Not only has he not apologized for being a creep in the past, he genuinely thinks everything he did was fine and he will absolutely continue to be a creep in the future.

So what could have been a very minor drama, another "Wow, Hermitcraft handled that controversy really well!" moment, turned into him torpedoing his own career and causing awful stress and pain to everyone involved for no fucking reason. Congratulations everybody, we did it.

[polterhaze]

Jimmy and Curly from mouthwashing are unironically such important comfort characters to me as crazy as it sounds. Their human portrayal does insane things to my brain as someone struggling with severe mental health issues and trauma.

I see different ugly/scary parts of myself in both of them. Stuff from my intrusive thoughts that scares me, the way system fails mentally ill, and such. So yeah, these two and their narrative regarding mental health and accountability matters a lot to me.

Also some of you are ableist as fuck in the ways you talk about Jimmy lmao. We can absolutely talk about his wrongs and the evil he has done without punching down people that hallucinate, are delusional or suffer from personality disorders.

EDIT: adding my tags because I am deathly afraid of being misunderstood